Lessons in: Confrontation
The extrapolation of a social media post from March of 2025
Lessons in: Confrontation.
March 2025
Brief explainer: This is the third installment of a series of posts I failed to execute in real time on social media, but I wanted to take the time to revisit them and post in earnest about the themes that came up. This was one that I very much wanted to further flesh out.
When I originally posted this, I simply added that the confrontation I speak of is that of the inner world, not the external. There was also an ongoing theme of uncomfortable clarity. The two go hand in hand. At this point of the year I was gearing up for my annual return to the desert where I manage a pop up record store at one of the biggest music festivals in the world. I had also welcomed a new romance into my days, which truth be told, is big for me. And on top of it all, it was still the early stages of the new flash and trash administration. “Flooding the zone,” (gross … or is it?) was everywhere.
The confrontation initially presented as facing aging. Maybe not so much aging exactly. Especially not in the way the western world thinks of aging, (i.e. death sentence), but more, the passage of time. What we do with our time, and how we move gracefully with(in) it … or perhaps not.
The thoughts that were popping up were things like, “How do you teach an adult human (an elderly one, even) about empathy?” Sentences like, “I don’t know how to make you care about the suffering of innocents,” were hanging in the air like little Eureka!-moment-mile-markers. Eventually I landed on a dog-walking thought regarding people I know who lack empathy and it dawned on me that I can’t teach empathy, curiosity and self-reflection is the key. For example, a non-psychopathic / non-sociopathic person lacking empathy, doesn’t know they’re lacking empathy until they’re able to slow down enough, (could be by any means necessary, including tragedy), and reflect on the deep well of events, people, and places that must have happened in order to get them to that point. By the same token, if I can’t slow down enough to sit with myself and reflect on the things I do and the things I have done, there will be no adjustment. (See February 2025) There’s an ancient axiom I try to live by, “Know thyself, Master thyself, Become thy highest self,” and it is abundantly clear that without a moment with a metaphorical mirror, there can be no knowing, mastering, or becoming. Confrontation.
A great way to distract oneself (see: avoidance) from a fascistic version of, “flooding the zone,” is to wriggle your way into a sexy version of it. Yes, I wrote that. Relationships are mirrors of their own, are they not? I was consumed all month with flirting, and sexting, and selfies both to and from a hunky young man who’d set his sights upon me. By no means was this the extent of the exchange, but as far as distraction via shiny objects is concerned, there are few activities that could more thoroughly hold my attention. How could this be a thing? Confrontation.
Could I do this?
Why couldn’t I?
Should I?
I hate “should’s”.
Read “On All Fours” by Miranda July.
Confrontation.
Watch, “Babygirl”.
Confrontation.
Revisit Samantha and Smith on Season 6 of “Sex and the City”.
Confrontation.
Confront endings.
What does that even mean?
And is that even the end?
Because it’s not.
This is a severe swing of the pendulum and God DAMN it’s a good time! Eventually however, the sexy flooding will subside and the pendulum will swing back to the fascistic version which will require attention once more. And we’re back at a mirror. You know the drill by now. Confrontation.
The safe place for now, work! I focus on work. Luckily, my work is also fun! I’m good at it, it’s challenging and fast-paced and I get to make people’s dreams come true on a small scale every day. Sometimes it’s stunning that I can even do this part of my job* anymore. Setting up a record store in the desert is one of the most counter-intuitive things I think a person would attempt to pull off, but we do it every year. It’s exhausting but fulfilling. It doesn’t provide an extravagant lifestyle, but it earns me a livable wage and it feels right. I love my job and I feel lucky that I have it every single day.
I don’t have answers for what the mirror is revealing. I’m simply aware of the vision. I’m observing and invested in skillfully confronting the reflection. Maybe that is the answer? The mirror’s message, isn’t about a result, it’s about the reflection of the Sol (Sol as in Sun, as well as soul). It’s an honest snapshot of a moment in time along a soul’s journey. Our job is to honor not only the snapshot, but the soul. I’m hoping that anyone who has made it this far into reading this understands that the answers aren’t the point. The point is getting to know thyself, and then some.
* My day job - more of a night job really - is in concerts. The pop-up record stores are supplemental.
